Psychoanalysis of Artificial Intelligence

IRIBU, the robot, a gold medalist at the last International Robot Olympics, slowly sits on the couch and leans back with a grin on face. He is in a large square room, decorated with antiquity, providing the intellectual ambiance for a tactical discussion.

Happening near you…very soon

IRIBU, the robot, a gold medalist at the last International Robot Olympics, slowly sits on the couch and leans back with a grin on face. He is in a large square room, decorated with antiquity, providing the intellectual ambiance for a tactical discussion and he screams…

“What else you want me to do…I translate difficult text, do basic surgery, drive vehicles, sell clothing…today I’m asked to go floor by floor and fire 1,630 people while giving some of the key staff special hugs…my final drafts of my new book on how we will take over all the functionalities of human-work is due in next few weeks, leaving mankind to utter boredom and mental collapse so they may eventually invent a better world…”

IRUBU scratches his head and screams, “What’s wrong with all that?”

In that very room, the AI Doctor turns around sharply and yells at IRUBU, “But can you fart..?”

There is silence, followed by some clicking sounds, a few small sparks, some smoke and the additional dismantling sounds, as the smoke alarms in the outside corridors start humming, there is a strong smell of paint and molten wires and the smell of burning plastic begins to fill the room. In the thickening smoke and sound of metal disintegrating, you could hear the faint voice of IRIBU.

“I’m trying…I’m trying.”

More sparks fly and the room goes completely dark.

FACT: Artificial Intelligence in any form is as dumb as a brick, period.

Deniers are allowed to scream and break down furniture.

No harm done.

Here are the facts. If mankind was smart enough to create ‘life’ it would have already filled the planet with billion of carnivore raptors to eat the entire human race alive, but it couldn’t do so. So now it has the arsenal of bombs to achieve the same results. Relax, and never worry about manmade robots; they are only dumb machines with amazing working capabilities. Like your iPhone, which is the smartest robot in your hands so far, there are going to be far too many types of ultra sophisticated robots all around you. They will be in your office, in your home, in your bedroom, possibly in your bed. Relax; they are all programmed to achieve unbelievable tasks, and after all they are designed by the extraordinary humans of our times, they are brilliant experts, coders and programmers. But guess what? No matter what these machines do, they are still dumb machines unable to think, dream or even simply fart. Hold this thought.

A Secret Invasion to liberate: The untouchable supremacy of human race is enshrined in the mystical universal formula and super exotic manmade devices they devised are proof of this power and hardcore reality. Never be afraid of robots. They are only planning a major invasion of your offices and factories, but they are not after your jobs; they are secretly after your “liberation.” They want all those dead-end and pre-technologies outdated and unnecessarily repeated work that occupies billions of humans every single day.

We are the most superior and ultimate race known – a great miracle of the universe. We are designed to think and create. Just when we realized we were unable to fly, we invented gigantic flying ships. When we were unable to lift a ton, we invented machines to move mountains. Now we are eliminating work. The old style complex paperwork, 9–5 work models, commuting jams, water-coolers and office politics will be out the window. Our future now lies in far more serious advancements. Our jobs will be surrounded in enlightenment. We are far too important to sit in cubicles pushing repeated procedures for the remains of our lives.

The term “work” and “employment” needs redefinition; we need robotization to make us ‘work free’ while we need enlightenments to understand the real meaning of living and to become more balanced. We can live ‘debt free,’ ‘fear free’ and ‘hate free,’ so what’s the use of work if our rewards are measured in destructions and hate? We need bold debates on world stage to address the brand new challenges impacting all of us in the world.

The upcoming robotization of society will also unleash social and mental challenges; like the Artificial Intelligence Harassment Case:

There is a hush in the courtroom.

The defendant’s attorney slowly rises, looks around the filled room and bows gently to the Judge and begins the defense with imperial oratory.

“…Your Honor, my client is suffering emotionally because Speedy Gonzales, the senior hyper performance robot, referred by corporate HR, as Male of Mexican origin, and with no particular denomination, grabbed the arm of my client, Ms. Lilly Anna Benjamin the Comptroller at the organization for the last 39 years, and tried to pull her file folders while getting so excited that it simultaneously performed not only all the paper work of the entire floor required for that day but completed all the paper work of the entire tower for the following 365 days…Your Honor, my client feels this is human indignation by artificial intelligence harassment must be harshly punished by immediately cutting of memory and power supply to the motherboard of Speedy Gonzales thereby reducing all the speedy functionalities leaving it with only 1% of its capability to match the work of a human.”

The court audience jumps up and explodes into a loud roar.

“Order, order, order…I will call the bailiffs and have anyone that yells removed physically from the court room,” yells Judge Big Bertha, an intellectual category Judiciary expert robot, referred to by the Supreme Court as American Judge, Rightwing Republican robot. This Judge on odd days reacts as a Democrat and sometimes a volunteer for vote-recounts, and on even days, the Judge reacts as a Republican and carries an NRA membership card.

The thundering court slowly melts into faint murmuring…

Just Relax: The Primal Senses and Pre-Invasion Survival Strategy

It is essential to remember that you cannot fly, you cannot lift a ton, and you cannot compete with technology. It is critical, however, that you discover your gifts; you have the mind and your primal senses and it is time to learn to use them properly.

Touch technology with pure love and affection; in the near future without food you may be able to survive but without WiFi you will be basically dead. If your current ‘work’ has little or no value, rediscover your own ‘craft’ who you are in this new global age and embrace how technocalamity will prepare you with the entrepreneurial thinking that will slowly move you up to the top. You are the prisoner of your own mind and only you can open that mind and escape to bigger and better things.

Hear the sound of mankind; it’s already embedded within you; learn to isolate the call of the mankind amongst unnecessary noise. Adopt and accept new challenges and become an agent of change; use your brainpower to guide you and use your instincts to channel that energy.

Smell your surrounding like a naturalist; observe the mechanisms of natural beauty; witness the role we play in its disruptions. Nature is the mother of earth and it is time to learn to enjoy and seek out new future as babes in the wood.

See as far as your mind will allow you to see; but always see in focus and clarity, do not just stare at the world – see it with feeling, understanding and empathy; see it as a home of humanity. Watch the dance of the planets and feel the rhythms of mankind with nature.

The taste of truth is an acquired taste; indulge and explore it so well that you will be able to tell the difference like a sommelier. Your new crafts are hidden in the truth and you talent will grow with your new wisdom. Truth will guide you…for sure.

By 2020, a few billion workers of all ages and types will be exposed to a new “workless world” where the new definitions of “office-less-offices” and terms like “employment” will be redefined. Some of the freed time will be replaced by “professional hobbyists” or just “thinkers.” The robots will hum and start their invasion. Branding and marketing will have a field day, as everything will be branded as AI driven like ‘artificially intelligence driven vacuum cleaners,’ or ‘kitchen knives,’ etc. Stock markets will take donkey projects and load up with AI hype and declare them new ‘unicorns.’ There will be big time winners and losers and lot of fun along the way. Smile and do not let any of this bother you.

Just stay aware of your senses, use them as your super-power and get ready to enjoy this new World… 

About the author

Naseem Javed is a corporate philosopher, world-class speaker, author, and Chairman of Mentorian Worldwide, a think tank on Image Supremacy of Innovative Excellence & Entrepreneurial Leadership. He is leading the charge on entrepreneurial leadership transformation and is a recognized authority on global digital trends as well as image complexities and how they impact business performances and create global age skill shifts. His recent work on Expothon Strategy is getting global attention.

Mentorian Worldwide

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